umm really. really this is news

rapunzelJul-20 @ 9:11 AM Report abuse 116Um - 15% of $350.00 is $52.50. They actually wrote an article on the missing $2.50?? I understand the whole waitstaff view point - had been a waitress for a number of years. Yes, he's loaded and coulda/shoulda tipped more, but is this news worthy?


http://www.azcentral.com/ent/celeb/articles/2009/07/20/20090720robert-pattinson.html

A "source' tried to say my baby was a bad tipper? he gave you fifty i know people who think a dollar is a tip. i mean were in trouble times right now but he ain't johnny depp! gessh people all ways trying to bring my man down!

Spoof Saturday!

well i guess are robby is bothered by harry.... love the cullen crest braclet jimmy!

ROB PATTINSON REHAB.....

I'M SORRY IT'S BEEN SO LONG.. i had an overdose. My family found me holed up in the corner with my U.S weekly rocking back in forth. the doctor said there no antidote for my illness. i just need to take rob sexiness in small dose's. thanks for all your support

NaNaNa...NaNaNa..Hey,Hey,Hey Goodbye!

Okay as everyone who secretly reads my blog but wont follow me.... knows i had a hard as hell time finding us weekley. I was late to work trying to find it, but when i did the reward was so sweet. Wet robby p sweet * drooling*. BUt when i finally tore my eyes from his sexy collar bone and happy trail* drooling* i saw another prize. supposly the couple who were never together finally pretend broke up. i really dont care who he dates *lying* but the whole robsten thing made me barf just a little in my mouth. I dont belivie hes dating emilie either. Hes single okay let

ROBERT PATTINSON IS VIAGRA FOR WOMEN!!!

As i have been on different blogs today {or as my real husband calls them my dealers}. I have realized that I am not the only grown ass women who goes completely crazy over Robby p. For example i was surfin the web for sexy rayban pictures of Robby p, and flipping channels when i saw a commercial for E!news. Who do i so happen to see pop up, you guessed right ROBERT PATTINSON!

I TRANSFORMED INTO A FOURTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL FASTER THEN JACOB DID A WOLF!

I've heard many women say that this man alone has jumped started sex lives that died along time ago. I feel you my sistas! Even though my sex life has always been da best, After a long day of robby day dreaming and some jaw porn I'm ready to get busy baby. The only hard part is trying not to scream out Robert.

When i cant get to him I take out a picture of robert, turn on the dvd with commentary, light some scented candles and love my self Robby P style! LMAO!

You should try it, its a great stress reliever








O yea baby im tottally turned on...





Dont stop im almost there...



o wee I bet you know what to do with that....




YESS! YES! YES!





I need a smoke after this too...

HAVING TROUBLE BREATHING

Today has been so hard on me. Rob sexiness is all over the damn internet! i to walmart, looking for that damn us weekley couldnt find it anywhere. So i raced home and it was all over the internet my panties flooded! * side note: rob if we ever meet you owe me 14.50 these are victora secret's!

PANTY SOAKIN GOODNESS

BREATHE NIKI, BREATHE.......


HE IS DOUBLE O SEXY!!

MY FAVORITE ROB

EVERYONE AND I MEAN EVERYONE, has a favorite rob. well mines is sexy raybans rob. He makes those glasses look sooo hot ....

Hi my name is NIKI FIERCE and im Robsessed

So here's my story people

I read just twilight mannnny moons ago and after that i got so wrapped up in planning a wedding, school, and the election that i never got a chance to read the rest. But then i learned they were making a movie and didnt hear much after that.
Well on day as i was coming home from school i clicked on mt tivo and there was my favorite show just waiting for me. THE TYRA SHOW!* I turned it on and there he was in alll his glory { oh yea taylor was there to}. I swear i never swooned or giggled so hard at anyother persons like he made me. I was hooked. he was my on brand of ectasy{ because herion doesnt make me horny}.





* I love to scream out tyra mail for nooooooo reason at all

SEXY TIME WITH ROB .......

maybe im just horny...

So here my thing this man Robert pattinson could tell me i smell like horse shit in the middle of the desert and i would go "fuck me please"....

So why isn't there like a vibrator or at least a porn spoof about him? I mean he was voted sexist man.

I "heard" that there's a vibrator that talks to you and can be switched to different accents sooo why cant they make one with Rob's voice?*

the porn industry's is forever making spoof on films why not twilight, maybe it could be called twicock or twitwat?

* side note: if they do make one i hope it says glitter glue.....o yea baby!

THE HARDEST JOB EVER!!!!!

I dont see how people can interview rob. I would totally go blank and just drool. Or just giggle at every word he uttred i could see it now.... { come on go to fantsy land with me}

Rob: well

Niki: giggle you said well...

Rob: umm like i was saying

Niki:*giggle* you said like

Rob: Im sorry were you going to actually ask me a question

Niki: *giggles non stop*

Rob: Okay were's ashton this cant possibly be real she's drooling...


.....yes even in my fantasy im a blerd.


yea i would do this right here

Play Me Rob!

IF I HAD A PENIS ...IT WOULD BE HARD RIGHT NOW. I'M TALKING WHOLE BOTTLE OF VIAGRA HARD!

I love to see him with a guitar, why you ask. Well those sexy fingers of course.

When i first saw Rob playing i came every note he strummed. o0o0o wee child just thinking about him singing gets me all randy!He could singing old McDonald had a farm and id be ready to jump his bones{ o you know anything sexy with that accent of his}.
I you haven't seen "How to be" please watch its a realllly funny movie.





I love how he laughs after lying about his grandmother having cancer!

THEY CALL THEM FANTASY FOR A REASON!!!!

So i was explaining to my mother just who is all in new moon when she brought up a fact that i always forget. I met Dakota Fanning. SeE i live in the smallest town in the world but, it also the Hollywood of the east. A lot of actors come in to town and since this place is nothing but a circle you see all kinds of famous people (i've seen outkast,anthony mackie, terrence howard, chad Micheal Murray, and Katie Holmes} But no one really gets star struck around here. So that's when mama fierce asked " what will you do if Robert pattinson comes to town" and that's when i started thinking what would i do?


* probably scream uncontrollably

* Dry hump his leg like a Chihuahua

* stare and babble

* Turn into a 14 year old beck " like omg your fucking rprattz"

*run they other way waving my arms above my head

* or jizz on my self....most likely all of the above

Just my luck all be in my new moon t-shirt just like the blerd i am.

* sIDE NOTE WHEN I MET DAKOTA FANNING I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE WHO SHE WAS WE, BOTH HAVE THE SAME VET AND I THOUGHT HER DOG WAS CUTE.

NoN- twilight, pattinson post

I use to think i was the only blerd who watched degrassi. But know that wheel chair jimmy came out on young money everyone seems to know him. I rember when he was rapping with ashley in th cafeteria, now its lil wayne!
Also tthe video was directed by one of my favorite blerds in the music game kanye west.

riddle me this rob....

We all know about the whole Rob and Kristen thing that soooo not happening yet life and style magazine keeps making up shit and putting it in there. My dumb ass keeps buying it cuz i get dazzled by Roberts pictures*. Well i was in wally world today at check out when i saw life and style and started reading it to find out about the real house wives of new jersey when i came across a story about rob{ that's my story and I'm sticking to it!}that baffled me. So riddle me this rob..... why is your auntie blabbing your business? I mean this women gave the whole 411 on your relationship. she dropped names of your ex's and everything. Even though i agree with the women you need to stay AWAY FROM KRISTEN STEWART shes to young and frankly she just not that into you..sorry.







* funny side note while in the check out line the man who put a ring on it looks over at the twilight magazine and says "your not gonna get that?" I
said no all the while thinking if only he knew i have it already hidden under my side of the bad like a playboy magazine.

....and that's when you know your obsessed!

robward, umm if you ever see my husband.....RUN!

Robward i have something to tell you, my husband hates you. I'm mean really i brought this upon us. I've been dating him since middle school and we were madly and love until i found twilight. Everytime we argue "it's edward would never do that". Then the movie came out and i started putting twilight merch everywhere. I made the man put a twilight bumper sticker on his car! which conveintly got ripped off last week *rasied eye brow*. well i think tonight I brought the poor man to his breaking point. See today is the man who put a ring on it's birthday and we decied to do what he wanted which meant travling to myrtle beach. of course knowing my husband we end up in a mall with a whole bunch of shoe stores.







when i saw what i'd been wanting for months AN EDWARD BLANKET! i was drawn to it like a moth to a flame.I ran in the door and right next to the blanket was a mini edward. well that did it for him he throw a hissy fit/ tantrum right in the mall. i actually had to bribe him with sexual favors just to get my blanket!

so as my mantress { for those who dont get it its a man , mistress lightbulb!} im telling you we have to keep this on the down low, quit popping up in out of state malls tempting me with your jawporn, andg spot fingers. Im trying to keep the peace in my other relationship.





also i feel like linus right now snuggling with my edward blanket.

TALK DIRTY TO ME...

As all us fans of robby p know he has the most sexiest accent ever! I look up youtube videos of him all day just to hear him say "hard tool". omg, i almost I just came. I even love to watch the commentary just to hear him say "glitter glue". well now i have something to feed my rob fetish a website called random acts of rob. { which is a perfect name cuz the boy is kind of random, but that's why i love him} they have a library of things he says so click on them and swoon

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vg5JbNCkrWM

here's a good video of him as soon as i heard his voice my nipples got hard.... don tell my husband.

how RPrattzz changed my life

I was on one of my many twilight dealer* fan site and the had a list of how twilight changed there life.

well it got me thinking how my number one baby daddy changed my life.

10. I now buy anything with his face on it!

any people mag or t-shirt yep i got it.

9. I now dress like him.

yesterday i throw on RayBan's, flannel, skinny jeans,and black on black converse

sound familiar?

8.I love the word tyke.

7. I give a fuck who hes fucking.

I hate any hefa who even gets close to him.

6.jawporn gets me randy.

5. I make sad attempts to write fan fiction about him.

4.I think smoking is hot.

I hate when my husband does it but rob, oo it makes my panties melt!

3. I know who sam bradley is.

2. I listen to kings of leon

every time i hear sex on fire i think of spunk Ransom.

1 Istarted this kick ass blog!

counting down the dAYS TO NEW MOON!

man i cant wait to see my future baby daddy rob p (or spunk randsom) sparkle in new moon!

I hope my girl tyra puts him back on the show. but until then lets all swoon to this pic.